Cream Cheese is Extra

As my life as a measly high school student comes to a close I find myself more and more often thinking about my future and life beyond college. Of course there are things I would love to do when I graduate. I’d love to play video games for a living or go on reality TV and never have to work again, but let’s be realistic. I’ll probably end up working at multiple places in my career and doing things that college never really prepared me for. And to get to where I want to be in life I’m going to have to work hard? It seems common these days that the people who reap the benefits are not necessarily the ones who do the most work or are the best in their field. Cheating and lying, actions held in such low regard in elementary school, become the norm as adults enter the workplace. In the first chapter of Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner’s book Freakonomics the two authors chronicle cheating in today’s society. From teachers to sumo wrestlers, it seems everyone will tell a white lie if they think they can get away with it. What’s even worse is that this cheating often does go unnoticed. So, what does this mean? Is lying just a natural human tendency that appears more prevalent as we mature? And I’m not saying cheating doesn't occur in high school but cyber day homework isn't the same as someone’s salary. Well from what the Stephens say, it’s circumstantial. In the case of the teachers, lying about student’s test scores and artificially boosting them translated into bigger bonuses and better funding. In the case of the sumo wrestlers, purposely losing a fight with a winning record to help out another fighter resulted in gimme win later in the season. Both situations are low risk, high reward. High test scores can be attributed to better teaching and wrestling matches are virtually random. After reading this I figured I might as well start practicing now because it seems like everyone cheats in the real world. However, Steven² breaks the big news later: humans are naturally good. I know, I know, you’ve heard it a thousand times but they have evidence and a story to boot. A Wall Street man leaves his job to go sell bagels in corporate buildings. His friends ridicule him, giving up his large salary just to have a relaxing job, who would ever do that. He leaves bagel boxes in break rooms all over the city and a jar to leave payment, 25¢ a bagel. Turns out he gets almost 90% return on each box and distributes hundreds of bagels a day. He’s not making a surplus of money like he used to, but here’s the thing: he’s happier.

Improving Our Home

High school is one of the most stressful times in the life of the average American teenager. You're being told the rest of your life depends on the decisions you make when you're not even an adult yet. Simultaneously being pressured to perform at your peak academic ability and still maintain an active social and extracurricular life outside of the classroom, students need school to be a relaxing and creatively stimulating place. If given the time and money to "redecorate" St. Mark's I would provide students for places to be comfortable and efficient. Like Graham Hill says in his TED talk "Less Stuff, More Happiness" we need to consolidate our lives. Straight board wooden desks would be replaced by ergonomically designed chairs with ample writing space and leg room for those tall kids ;). Text books would be swapped out in favor of laptops, not iPads, where students can research on the web and type notes quickly in the middle of class. Smart boards would take the place of whiteboards, automatically saving teacher's notes and posting them on mySMHS. With enough space to let creativity flow students' time would be better put to use. However, school is still school, and everyone needs a break once in a while. Lunch periods, now less than half an hour long, would be lengthened to provide students with enough time to eat and hang out with friends (social interaction leads to better people skills and is key in healthy brain development in young adults). While all this lounging around is great, students, inevitably, would take advantage of their extra flexibility and misuse their teacher's time. In order to keep students listening, lessons would be more interactive, engaging the students in more enjoyable ways to learn. Pictures, videos, and live action would keep the student involved and is preferred over bland notes on a centuries old power point. The teaching/learning relationship between educator and student is only possible when the student WANTS to learn. These changes would provide enough downtime and relaxation that students no longer dread going to class. They welcome the change in environment and are eager to participate in studies. School should be a place where students go with the intention and ambition of learning something new every day. Without an environment stimulating learning and academic growth, we might as well be, as the great Jack Baldino says, "cavemen eating mud."

Fifty Shades of Alexander Pope

To be honest, I originally picked Alexander Pope's short poem "You know where you did despise" to do my poetry annotation and blog on because it really is short. I thought, two stanzas, piece of cake, it'll take like five minutes to annotate. Then I read the innuendo-filled ambiguity that is "You know where you did despise." I should have expected half as much, it is Alexander Pope after all. It's easy enough to understand at the beginning. The narrator accuses someone of despising his eyes and legs and thighs and his "little things." As an immature male teenager, poetry is not the first thing to come to mind. The second stanza, unfortunately, only reinforces this... unusual imagery again with the little things. As I tie a metaphorical tie on my Catholic school uniform of appropriate interpretations of literature I struggle to find a particularly "safe" understanding of the poem. What I keep coming back to and what I think is the important part of the piece are these little things. Could they be money? Secrets? Innocence? With all the suggestive descriptions I can only assume the little things are the narrator’s virginity or purity. The person being accused stole these things which apparently mean a lot to the narrator and everyone else. This is all coming from the guy who wrote "Rape of the Lock" so it's not too farfetched. On another note, I haphazardly label the narrator as male and the accused as female. Could this lend to my prostitution theory, who knows? The characterization in the second stanza makes me feel like I'm in a strip club with those, "fine black eyes, Taper legs, and tempting Thighs." At the same time as the narrator reprimands the, let's say, woman I feel as though she is not entirely at fault. By keeping the place and action unknown the narrator seems to have something to lose by identifying with such things. And the fact that he loses his little things, which apparently would cause some commotion, makes his situation look direr than hers. Basically what I think E. L James, err... I mean Alexander Pope is saying is to keep your s*** together. Don't go losing your little things in places you can't name with people with tempting thighs, it's all bad news.

What The Hell Is Water?

David Foster Wallace's speech “This Is Water” seeks to remind us of the complex simplicity of our daily lives. While it rarely crosses our minds it surely is a strange feeling to think “This is Life, I am… living.” Young adults especially seem to lack an inherent sense of reality and purpose in our daily lives. Texting, tweeting, and snap chatting have been elevated as actions chiefly more important than studying, learning, or educating. Popularity outweighs good grades and parties outweigh study groups. The relationships we have with others disregard personal interests or values, but are becoming more and more founded on the mere notion of where you were last Friday night. These inferior beliefs that are held so dear encourage an increased focus on what we think about people and things instead of us trying to discover the truth behind people and things for ourselves. Unfortunately we get trapped in this exaggerated version of what Wallace calls our natural default setting. He tells us that this is where the act of choosing comes into play. Yes, we can choose to continue to live life this way and get unnecessarily angry when our Instagram photo gets sub-100 likes or we have to wait over 15 minutes for a return text message. But at the end of the day this only contributes to the boredom and repetitiveness of our self-inflicted monotonous lives.  To break out of this vicious cycle of social dependency we need to learn to accept the wisdom and advice of others. When our teachers bravely stand up in front of a group of several judgmental teenagers give them so credit. They are clearly passionate about what they are doing and deserve our attention and respect. And by giving this attention and respect we might actually learn to appreciate what they do for us and benefit from their knowledge. Because remember, they are only trying to help us. Taking this new found knowledge and understanding we can approach our lives in a significantly different light. Our social media no longer dictates how we feel. Keeping this in mind it makes it easier to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. When that annoying soccer mom in the old minivan cuts you off on the highway tomorrow instead of honking your horn and riding her bumper for the next five miles try and remember the last time you were in a hurry or lost on the way to a friend’s house and had to quickly merge into the left hand lane. Remember when the car behind you didn’t beep or tailgate you but let you in without a complaint. That person in the car behind you put themselves in your shoes and chose to understand your situation without even knowing you. Like Wallace says in his speech, “It’s not likely, but it’s also not impossible. It just depends on what you want to consider.” So next time, instead of operating on your natural default setting, see things from someone else’s perspective because you never known what someone is going through.

Shakespeare Survivor: The Tribe Has Spoken

In a moment of celestial alignment the season finale of Survivor: San Juan del Sur occurred just seconds after I finished that lovely little drama Othello by that little known Bard (one might say a Shakespeare-Survivor syzygy). Being a superfan of both Shakespearean drama and reality TV I watched both. Also, in a flash of cosmic coincidence, the subtitle of this season’s Survivor was "Blood vs. Water" in which loved ones competed against each other, how Meta, but I’m getting off topic. The proximity of these two events sparked a fire of Iago fan boy-ism that I cannot contain. Without a doubt Iago is the greatest super villain of all time. If you disagree, I apologize, but you are wrong. Seeing the finale, and therefore a recap of the season, I cannot help but notice how amazing Iago would be on a reality/strategy TV show like Survivor or Big Brother. As resident strategy expert and ambassador on this journey through Shakespearean reality television, let me be your guide. The first rule to being any good at playing Survivor is that you need to be cunning. You need to see three moves down the line and do anything to keep yourself alive in the game. Exhibit A-Z: Iago. From the moment the play starts and Iago sets this wheel in motion he is in absolute control. He anticipates the disagreeableness of drunken Cassio, the gullibility of trustworthy Othello, and the intense desire of love-struck Roderigo. His plan has been formulated to compensate for all variables in human behavior and he has several fallbacks. Like when Roderigo and Cassio are about to fight. Iago explains to the audience that regardless of who dies Iago comes out beneficial. Rule number two of winning Survivor is having a tight alliance. You need people who you can trust and who can trust you. Iago has this category pretty locked up with friends on all sides of the ball. He befriends Roderigo from the beginning, always reminding him that his intentions are at heart. He gains the trust of Othello after years of servitude. He earns the trust of Cassio after pledging to aid his cause. These three characters form what is known in the world of strategy as a shield. If something goes wrong, Iago has protected himself from all sides and someone else can, and will, take the fall instead of him. This leads into rule number 3, ruthlessness. At the end of the day it’s all about you and Iago knows this. Some of the greatest people to ever play the game of Survivor have taken those closest to them all the way to the end and then cut them when they needed to. You need to keep them close enough that you can stab them in the back when the time comes. You use them for as long as they are worth and then dispose of them before they can figure out your plan. Iago easily disposes of Roderigo and Othello, but makes one mistake: underestimating Cassio. Iago tries to let him loose but he survives. This is ultimately the fall of Iago. Having said this, and because Iago is presumably still alive, I believe Iago would be able to win a modern-day Survivor. Iago is extremely intelligent and is able to see the impact of his decisions down the road. Iago has created a shield around him so that he is protected from any accusations with multiple scapegoats. Iago has also kept his allies close enough that he can turn on them at a moment’s notice in order to benefit himself. That is what makes Iago, not only the best fictional Survivor player to ever not play the game, but also the mastermind of all masterminds.

Be the Change You Want to See in the World

Othello vs. Oedipus? In a surprising turn of events I find myself having enjoyed two plays in under a month. I was taken aback. This is completely unlike me. I like fiction and fantasy, not drama. I found myself searching for an answer to this almighty question. I thought about the plot of each play and the setting, but nothing really jumped out at me. Then it hit me like a sword in the darkness: the protagonist. In both the plays, Othello and Oedipus (note how they both start with O, very important), the main character is the epitome of a dramatic hero. Oedipus is the glorious champion over the Sphinx, praised by all in Thebes. Othello, similarly, is the decorated war captain, revered by many. Each man finds himself in a terrible scenario at the fault of his own gullibility. Othello believes too much in the honesty of Iago and Oedipus has convinced himself that he is absent of evil and wrongdoing. What made me feel so connected to each of these men, and as a result the play as a whole, was their willingness to purge themselves of this figurative blindness and get down to brass tacks. Essentially, to man up. This sudden restoration of clear-headedness is what made me so ensconced in each work. I could identify with these men and learn a lesson. That even though they had been set back, misled, had failed, they took it upon themselves to make the difference (however extremely they did). Oedipus decided, as an act of strength, to blind himself. He could not handle what the world he lived in looks like and made the decision to shield himself from such abnormality. Othello sees all the things that he has done wrong and takes himself out of this world. By punishing himself he pays the ultimate price of death. While both men take their penance a little too far, I agree with the decisions they make. Gandhi once said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” In my heart I know that Oedipus and Othello both believed this and lived their lives in this way.

Murder, MURDER!

Noticing my blog dominated by short stories and novels I have decided to write about a poem. Now, don’t expect this to be your average romantic, lovey-dovey, rose petals on a park bench kind of poem. No, oh no, this is about MURDER! The poem is titled Ten Little Indians and has been around for ages. The poem started as an Irish folk song in the 1800's but has been changed and adapted over time. The “Indians” have been change to soldiers, niggers, sailors, or roosters over time but the verses remain mostly the same. Here is one version of the poem:

Ten little Indian boys went out to dine;

One choked his little self and then there were nine.

Nine little Indian boys sat up very late;

One overslept himself and then there were eight.

Eight little Indian boys travelling in Devon;

One said he'd stay there and then there were seven.

Seven little Indian boys chopping up sticks;

One chopped himself in halves and then there were six.

Six little Indian boys playing with a hive;

A bumblebee stung one and then there were five.

Five little Indian boys going in for law;

One got in Chancery and then there were four.

Four little Indian boys going out to sea;

A red herring swallowed one and then there were three.

Three little Indian boys walking in the zoo;

A big bear hugged one and then there were two.

Two little Indian boys playing in the sun;

One got all frizzled up and then there was one.

One little Indian boy left all alone;

He went out and hanged himself and then there were none.

Perhaps the main reason I like the poem is the mystery. In two instances the poem has appeared in a larger story as an omen to when a killer may strike and who the next victim will be. In Agatha Christie’s novel And Then There Were None the poem is used to follow ten dinner guest as they are killed off one by one. In online giant Roosterteeth’s interactive mystery show Ten Little Roosters fans can follow along and guess the victims using slightly edited version of the poem in which the killer is killed and a survivor is left standing. The popularity of the poem comes from its unique use of literary techniques and devices. The first thing the reader notices is the parallelism between each verse. Each successive verse counts down the remaining victims as there is one less each verse. The syntax of each verse is also paralleled with the Indians performing a certain action before the death of another is detailed. Another technique that connects adjacent verses is the end rhyme. In addition to rhyme the reader sees a distinct rhythm. The repeated pattern of stressed, unstressed, unstressed syllables indicates a dactylic meter. The meter paired with the rhyme help keep the poem moving and maintain a flow. While I like the poem for its meaning and mystery, I feel myself drawn back to it again and again because of the excellent use of the most basic literary devices.